"You can rest now. This is the time when you stop and rest."

These are the words that my loving husband turned and said to me as we were turning out the lights last night. "You can rest now."

My first thought was, "No DOY, Dave. Clearly it is bedtime. You're not the boss of me. I KNOW it's time to rest."

But then it occurred to me... I DON'T know when it's time to rest. Something crazy happens in my brain... it turns on overdrive. I can't stop thinking. About everything. And worse, about NOTHING.

Seriously, I have lost HOURS of sleeping hashing and RE-hashing everything from what I need to get at the grocery store to ideas for how I might save the world. The latter get better and better the later the night gets. Seriously, I am a genius at 3am. I think my Pulitzer may be the way any day now.

I've tried deep breathing, praying, reading, singing "Jesus Loves the Little Children" over and over again in my head (ACTUALLY true), but none of it has worked for long. My brain still has not gotten the memo that bedtime is rest time. If someone could help a sister out... send a sheep or 6 over for me to count, knock me over the head with a cast-iron skillet, something... that'd be greeeaaaat.

Also related to nothing, this commercial makes me die a small death every time I see it. Honestly, this is everything that is wrong with American consumer-culture. Shooting! Daggers! At stupid, crazy wife!